I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Randomize
