I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
