careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
