apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
