I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
