Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Randomize