Your dad touched me again.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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