Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
