sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Randomize
