Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
