Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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