so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
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