"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
You may now shotgun with the bride
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize