I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
