the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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