All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
