I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
