they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Randomize
