I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize