he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Randomize
