Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
honey bunches of taint.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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