It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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