I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize
