ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
i think my tv is drunk
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
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