does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
sarcasm needs its own font
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
