Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
