Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
