Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I'm too high and old for this...
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Randomize
