I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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