you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize