I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Randomize
