I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize