i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
