on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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