Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize