A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
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