What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
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