I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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