Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
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