Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
