I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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