she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
