I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
