How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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