Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Boobs are out for the taking
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Randomize
