eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
