and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Randomize
