Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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