I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
