Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
jump out the window naked night went bad
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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