i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
