Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
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