The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Randomize
