marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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