I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
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