I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Randomize
