I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Randomize
