yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
