talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
Randomize
