I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
