i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
