She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
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