Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
