Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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