went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I'm way too hungover for life right now
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize