My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
My bed is full of blood and feathers
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
