i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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