I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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