Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
